Installing the Chinese bridal bed is a significant event in the preparation for a Chinese traditional wedding. However, the traditions and culture do not end once the bed is installed as there are several other taboos and customs surrounding the wedding bed after its installation to ensure the bridal couple has a long and happy marriage and are abundantly blessed with many happy children, especially sons!
Read on for an interesting insight on Chinese wedding taboos and customs for the bridal bed and how you can incorporate it into your own Chinese wedding!
Chinese Wedding Bed Taboos And Customs
Traditionally, the groom’s parents present the couple with a new bed complete with all the necessary bedding items. However, in modern times, the groom’s parents may give them the cash to purchase these or the couple may opt to buy it themselves.
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No adult is to sit or sleep on the wedding bed after it has been installed to avoid bringing bad luck to the bridal couple.
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Traditionally, only male children were allowed to sit or play on the wedding bed to ensure the couple is blessed with male heirs and fertility.
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In some cases where the groom has to sleep on the installed bridal bed before the wedding, he must be accompanied by a young boy to avoid leaving one side of the bed empty.
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It is considered very bad luck to leave one side of the bed empty before the wedding as it means to curse death on either half of the new couple!
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Traditionally, the bride and groom should not meet the day before the wedding however this is not practical in modern times as they often have to meet to finalise wedding details. To move on with modern times, some bridal couples slightly modify this tradition to avoid sleeping under the same roof the night before the wedding.
Items To Be Placed On Chinese Wedding Bed
Chinese weddings are filled with symbolic items to bring the new couple much happiness, good luck, good fortune and children in their marriage.
Once the bed has been installed by the parents or person of good fortune, several items will often by placed on the bed to symbolise the happy marriage ahead. A traditional basket (gao na) or tray is often used to place the items in.
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Even number of tangerines or oranges to symbolise gold and fortune in the marriage.
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A piece of black charcoal often wrapped in auspicious red paper and decorated with the double happiness symbol. The charcoal symbolises black gold and fortune for the couple.
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Dried longans, dried red dates and dried persimmons to bless the marriage with sweetness. These can sometimes be substituted with traditional Chinese sweets or sweetened winter melon strips.
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Dried magnolia leaves or dried pak hup (Cantonese) to symbolise a harmonious marriage for the coming hundred years.
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Dried lotus seeds and pomegranate leaves to signify fertility and abundance of offspring. Pomegranate leaves are also believed to ward off evil that might destroy the marriage. Depending on the dialect group of the couple, ie Hokkiens, Cantonese, etc, baby yams are sometimes used to represent fertility and to ensure the roots of the family grow as far-reaching as the roots of the yam! Green and red beans are also sometimes used for the same purpose.
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Red packets filled with coins or money. These are usually placed on the bed and in the drawers of the dressing table and wardrobe to ensure the couple’s life is always blessed with good fortune.
In line with modern times, these auspicious items can be substituted with red packets if they are unavailable. If using red packets, put a token sum in the packet and make a note on the packet what it is supposed to represent.
The symbolism and meaning behind these items and actions are a beautiful gesture by the couples’ parents to ensure their children have a wonderful marriage together in their new lives ahead. Too many couples today opt to ignore these customs out of inconvenience or disbelief. However, if you can, having the traditional items and the ceremony adds a lovely cultural touch to your wedding preparation and abundance of blessings for your marriage ahead.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi,
May I ask is it ok to have pregnant guest to attend my wedding dinner cause she is my best friend?
Thank you
Hi Ms Tan,
Best to check with your family and husband’s family if they are very superstitious. However, I don’t see it being a problem as it is the wedding dinner.
Hope it helps
Dear Elle,
What is the desert that married couples take after the Bride’s arrival in the groom’s bedroom ?
Hi Lee,
It is usually a sweet drink (tong sui) boiled with lotus seeds, red dates, etc to symbolise a sweet and happy life, many children and all things good for the wedding and the couple’s life ahead
I thought some are given sweet round dumplings called Tang Yen or Tong yin in cantonese.
I believe different dialect groups serve different things.
Thanks Elle for your answer. May I know after the installation of the bed, how long must the items be left on the bed ?